This morning I was really looking back on the last year of my life and how much has truly changed. How much my boys have grown, since my youngest was a newborn when we came to Macon. Also I think about the periods of my life where I have been waiting on direction from God, where to go and how to do things, it is no different with my planning here at Mulberry praying for God’s direction.
But there is something that formed itself in my mind while (this will make my Seminary professors proud) I was attempting to be a reflective practitioner. It’s that maybe we often misinterpret the perceived silence of God in our lives. I don’t know where I came across it the first time, so for whatever uncredited source thank you, maybe God is not silent but saying, “wait.”
I can freely admit that I do not like to wait, it is really not in my gifts that God has given me. I grew up in the American culture of immediate satisfaction, we want what we want NOW! But sometimes God wants us to remember that we have to tune our antennas so that we hear him. We have to turn the dial of our hearts away from the world around us to truly focus on what God is saying.
But the question that always pops up for me when I try this is, why is it so hard? Why does my heart not naturally want to center on the signal that God is sending out. How do we truly know that are tuned to the right station and not just being pulled in what seems like the right direction?
In “The Screwtape Letters” the demons talk about the fact that their greatest weapon is not interrupting our times with God, but distracting us with things that will keep us so busy that we will forget about focusing on God. It’s strange but sometimes in my life I see this influence, and it’s not things that are blatantly against God, but things I can convince myself are for good.
Then when I come to this conclusion I see the hands that are slowly pushing me away because God is telling me to wait. God is giving us the word Wait, but all we hear is silence. We don’t feel the pregnant pause that is often present in our lives. I use the phrase pregnant for a purpose, because we often in the process of something new, something that is being recreated. God is not only the Creator, but the Master Recreator as God does on a daily basis.
So maybe the silence we hear is not truly silence, but the pregnant pause that is coming to be. The Bible speaks of the labor pains that are bringing what is coming to be. Maybe we need to hear, “Wait” when our hearts feel silence. Even if we are truly experiencing silence, maybe we need to keep telling ourselves to wait on the Master of Recreation.